The irony of rad-fem and porn

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It amazing what you see when you get rid of years of social, religious and political indoctrination. I see many things differently now, many many things. One thing that surprised me was I found myself looking at porn differently. I was watching Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex and throughout her scene with Derrick Pierce, I found myself imagining what it must be like for her, as she is doing the scene, how being roughed up must make her feel, how good it must feel for her. After finishing the scene, I realized that the same thoughts were in my mind with the other scenes I have watched since me and porn became friends again.

Reflecting on this I realized something these types of thoughts are not new, they have always been there. One of the first things that entered in to my mind was watching Kink.com’s The Training of O; the emotional and physiological aspects of what the scenes entailed were always fascinating. In particular, I was thinking of Bobbi Starr’s session learning to talk dirty; testing her limits with the hood, etc indeed one of the most powerful moments in the whole thing for me was seeing her appear to be genuinely sad that the experience was ending. (On that note, I so want to see her Men in Pain scene now). Even more so I have always been fascinating by the act know as, double penetration, one cock in the pussy and one in the ass. A major reason for this is wondering how it must feel for the women. I have always enjoyed watching group sex in my porn and this is a big part of why. Thinking about it a good size chunk of my porn preferences are based on wondering what is going on inside a women’s mind and body during the act. It isn’t just visual porn either. Looking at my erotica collection, I definitely enjoy reading stories written in a female point of view more than those written from a male point of view. Furthermore, women also wrote the stories I enjoyed the most. (1)

So given all the above what made watching Penny Flame’s scene worthy of note? I realized that the thoughts focused on the women’s pleasure were sharing the same plane as the rest of my thoughts. “Yes, take it bitch!” and “God that must feel good for her!” (2) were sharing the foreground instead of the former taking the foreground and the latter being pushed into the background. How could have something so fundamental to my enjoyment of porn and my sexuality in general been regulated to the background for so long. That was when I realized how deep social indoctrination could go. I realized that even before my brief, misguided, “What The Fuck Was I Thinking!” time spent as a rad-fem I had already internalized many of their inherently sex negative views. I’m reminded of one reason women often enjoy being called dirty names. If only sluts enjoy sex and your enjoying sex why not take the moniker and run with it. If the only way a man can enjoy porn (especially of the rough sex or BDSM variety) is if he is a selfish, uncaring, misogynistic bastard than is it that much of surprise that I started to play the role even if it contradicted the truth.

That is the irony of rad-fem in trying to fight the evil patriarchy they end up not improving upon the situation but making it worse, in my case causing me to ignore a women pleasure via self-fulfilling prophecy. Doesn’t surprise me considering this is the same viewpoint that in order to “save” women from sex work effectively denies women their agency. However, as I said it does surprise me how ingrained those viewpoint can be in our society, to the point that I did not realize I was harboring them until now. If it wasn’t for the fact that we haven’t found a way to politicize the issue I would be sticking my head out the window in order to be sure the sky is in fact as they told me blue. …*sticks head out window anyway* yep it’s blue.

1) These managed to survive the great pornography purge of 09, I think the fact that they were mixed in with my normal reading material is what saved them.
2) Yes I’m aware most female pleasure in porn is faking it; however it no different than relating with any other actor’s playing of a character.

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~ by namelesschaos on Monday, July 20, 2009.

2 Responses to “The irony of rad-fem and porn”

  1. A major reason for this is wondering how it must feel for the women. I have always enjoyed watching group sex in my porn and this is a big part of why. Thinking about it a good size chunk of my porn preferences are based on wondering what is going on inside a woman’s mind and body during the act.

    You're not alone in that. I've often wondered what it'd be like to have a cock and be force feeding her throat my cock. I've gotten to the point where I can almost orgasm just from being throat fucked myself, but I have to imagine that the visual combined with the physical feeling of it, and the psychological aspect of knowing your cock is penetrating her throat must be quite intense.

  2. Alexa… read.. and commented on something I wrote…*swoon*This little fact just made my day 🙂

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